I've been considering the possibility of moving this blog to YouTube or some other video service. I don't mind being in front of the camera and relating whatever subject crosses my mind. Upon further consideration, I scared myself when I thought of the fact my face would be there for all to see. I mean, I wouldn't have a problem talking about anything other than dating. But let's face it, I'm out there offering my opinions and experiences while still trying to land dates...that could lose a problem. It's not like I'm cruel or offensive in what I'm doing but I know all to well how easily people want to be offended...especially online with the apparent comfort of a screen separating them from whom they are attacking. Still, I thought I should search the net and see what others are saying about dating apps and landing dates from them.
I found a TED Talk on YouTube. It was a brief presentation made by a woman I thought was extremely attractive. She did have a somewhat prickly demeanor but she was physically attractive. She introduced an idea she called the "zerodate." To my surprise it was something I practice in general myself. The general idea is that you are direct and charming in communicating through the app. She suggested that one say something more than "hey" or "hi," make a direct and specific comment about the other person's profile, and then try to arrange a face to face encounter sooner than later. Great advice if you ask me. Perhaps that's because I came up with that on my own (sorry, sometimes I do have to pat myself on my back).
Her next point focused on having the first meeting as an hour-long or less encounter. She said the only thing you should try to figure out is if you want to have a dinner date with this person. This reminds me of something that Lady1 mentioned when I was asking her to meet. She called this encounter a meet-and-greet. I think this a great term. See, my failed date with Lady1 wasn't a total loss. I continue to use the term "meet-and-greet" as I arrange first encounters. Anyways, this lady giving the TED talk claimed that most people know within 30 seconds that they have a connection with another. I stopped for a moment because this touched on a significant subject for me, something I will dedicate at least one post to. But, I resumed the playback somewhat agreeing with her. I don't know that I can identify a connection with someone within 30 seconds, but I definitely know if I want to see her again within an hour and that was her point. We can't know if someone is the "one" through the apps and we likely can't from our meet-and-greet, but this is part of dating...the gather-your-info-and-exchange-information part.
The presenter ended her talk by saying that if the zerodate went well, you should arrange another date before parting. If it didn't go well, then say why, give your thanks and walk away. I was amazed at the talk. I was thinking, "wow great minds really do think alike!" What she said made great sense and I knew it worked for me. Obviously I was encouraged by her validating my approach. So I went to read the comments and I don't think I found one that was complimentary towards her at all! She was torn to pieces by all sorts of individuals who somehow knew her type or knew that her advice was useless. It shouldn't be tough for you to imagine some of the terms that were used to describe her. With that, I figured I need to be extremely sure of myself if want to do any videos myself. Granted, I won't get the traffic she did by having her thing as a TED talk, but yeah, thick skins... thick skins.
No comments:
Post a Comment